numb
sitting here
just breathing
not able to move
not able to explain
not able to do anything
i try to stay calm and relax
the more i think about staying calm
the more i get hit by all those thoughts
i'm screaming from inside. desperately quiet.
my chest hurts, my eyes hurt, my mouth hurts
i'm shaking and am not able to hold back the tears
now they are running down my face. down down down
they burn my whole skin; let me feel the pain even deeper
i can't breathe i can't move and somehow i feel paralyzed
that wasn't the way all these things were supposed to be
everything went wrong and we can't fix it anymore
calm down and breathe. calm down and breathe.
doesn't he have a plan? always? for everyone?
guess i won't understand it. not this time.
how did all this happen so quickly?
without anyone realizing?
how can you be gone?
it cannot be true
it isn't true
it isn true
it is true
true
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