the burden of loving too hard

lying here in the middle of the night
knowing you are somewhere out there
but this does not comfort me anymore
why do i always love too hard ?
looking at your photos
rereading our messages from weeks ago
feeling happy and sad at the same time
why do i always love too hard ?
i gave up everything
and i know this was necessary and right
but still, i gave up everything
why do i always love too hard?
losing myself in the imagination of true love
realizing i have not been able to listen to my thoughts
because i have been telling myself you are the one too loudly
questions end in questions cause questions
i do not want to believe that you are just like the others
i do not want to believe that i gave up everything for you
i do not want to believe that i am here in front of you
- empty-handed, giving my all to you, trusting you
i do not want to believe that i am losing control again
i do not want to believe that this has already been it
i do not want to believe that you being sweet is gone
i do not want to believe that you have changed
i do not want to believe that it will hurt again
why do i always love too hard ?